Last night I went to see Twenty One Pilots, and I didn’t realize that a financially careless decision at the merch booth would begin a new, burning passion. I had been scoping out their tour merch online before the show, deciding what I would snap up when I got there; it saves a lot of time knowing what will be there and how much money you’re going to need. I saw a few shirts I liked, and then a beautiful, pricey ukelele. I debated for over a week whether or not I would pick one up at the show ($125 is a lot to spend on tour merch) but ultimately I needed to own one. It’s such a cool little instrument, customized to be a 21p tour exclusive.
I brought it home, opened it up, and it was love at first proper strum. Ukelele is not an exact science: it’s a feeling. I know I’ve only been playing for a day so I sound ridiculous, but an instrument has never been so easy to pick up; it’s the perfect size and for someone who knows basic music theory from years of piano, clarinet, and singing, it isn’t hard to remember chords and rhythms. Uke is what I always wanted playing guitar or bass to be like: natural and fun and just a little bit of challenge. I can tell I’m going to be playing this thing every day for a long, long time.
I’ve been in a creative funk for awhile, so I think going back to my roots and making music is just what I need to keep myself sane and motivated. At some point, I might start posting stuff to a YouTube account to share with you all. I’m excited to see how this goes!
So I’ve spent a lot of time stewing in self-pity and letting my post-grad life slip away from me. The days have turned into weeks and then months, and it’s not slowing down anytime soon. I need to make some positive changes in my life. I applied for a handful of full-time assistant manager positions at local retailers I like and am hoping for some interviews soon! I thought for sure I would be getting out of retail by now, but the fact is I’m really good at customer service and there always seem to be open management positions. A full-time job, even if it’s not in what I’ve considered a professional industry, is something to be very proud of. Also, the stores I’ve applied to are not very strict about appearance regulations which is something I really dig. I need to hold onto some of my youthful desires after all.
Admittedly, a lot of this motivation comes from my realization that I never actually got the raise I was promised when I got promoted at my job, so I’ve been doing a lot more work for the same amount of money the 14 year old carriage boys make. It’s a little ridiculous. Regardless of how I got to this point, I’m really happy to finally make some moves in the right direction. I’m seeking jobs with better compensation and benefits, especially since I’m going to need my own insurance in a few years. These are the considerations I need to make if I’m going to be a successful adult, right?
I could probably settle and stay at the supermarket. There might be a management position opening up there and I think I would be a fine candidate for the job; I know that the stress would probably kill me. I’ve been trying to get out of the checkout department practically since I started at the store and they won’t let me switch because I’m too damn good at customer service. I think this means they’d trust me to manage checkout at some point. I guess I don’t want to feel stuck in a job that was intended to just be a way to get myself through grad school. I want to move on, and grow, and be happier in my job.
At any rate, I think I’m starting to get my shit together. I might even retake my permit test in the next week or so, since I need to get back behind the wheel. If I want to be an adult I need to be able to drive, even though I’m afraid to. I need to do a lot of things I’m afraid to. And I’m taking those steps today.